City awarded $200 billion to add bike lanes to every single street

The City of Santa Ana has been awarded $200 billion in funding to pave every single street in the city with a designated bike lane, including cul-de-sacs and roundabouts.

“This will certainly boost the city’s green look,” said a V8 car user.

The City is expected to host an event at a cul-de-sac where partner Behr is expected to paint the town green immediately after the City Clerk clears the check.

The City Council had voted to accept the monies at their oddly scheduled meeting held on February 31st, but waited until Staples could print out an enormous check for the event.

“They’re doing WHAT?!” said Henry Ford when informed about the award.

The City projects completion by the year 8750, giving it a significant head start over Bristol Street, which is still expected to finish just seconds before the Sun becomes a red giant in 5 billion years.

If you've come this far: APRIL FOOLS!

Media literacy is on the decline. Now more than ever, readers should focus on how their source for news gather their information. Are there any red flags in this article? Yes, several.

There are no links to sources, a quote from a deceased person and an unrealistic date of completion (despite constant joking by residents). There is also no February 31st since it is the shortest month of the year.

And really, how would a bike lane work in a cul-de-sac?!

Happy April Fools, Santaneros!